Another of my night passing slowly. I am surprised how these nights have become so weary like my tired soul. As I lay in my bed, thinking about my life. The night getting darker and darker with no traces of sleep in my eyes. When the world is drowned into the calmness of the moonlight, my mind is engulfed with all the thoughts of just how to survive this one more night, survive these emotions, survive this everlasting pain.
As I fight the battle with the uneasiness of my heart, suddenly my brain starts another war showering questions to me. WHY? Did I love her less, was it not enough. Or was it that I cudnt let her read my heart. Did I not accept her way of life, her past, her present, her lies and her fables. I did. All of it. Then WHY?
Where do I go from here. Where is the road to my sanity. Where do I find my peace and solace.
My life has always been full of choices to make. This time yet again I stand at a fork where all I see is a dead end. My eyes straining hard to see the horizon being unaware of the ever growing darkness nowhere close to the dawn. Will the sun shine. Ever.
While I try to divert my mind it shoots another question. WHY NOT? Why can't I forget her. Why can't I just kill the love within. I have been lied to so many times. Heard many stories with so much conviction hard to not believe them. Seen things with my very own eyes still.... WHY NOT.
My heart wants to believe everything. Every word. Every action. My mind and my eyes pull me away!
"You fool" says my mind.
"Can't you see" says my eyes.
"You love her" says my heart.
This war within is ripping me apart.
How do I bring truce within me?
How do I breathe?
How do I live? .....
As I fight the battle with the uneasiness of my heart, suddenly my brain starts another war showering questions to me. WHY? Did I love her less, was it not enough. Or was it that I cudnt let her read my heart. Did I not accept her way of life, her past, her present, her lies and her fables. I did. All of it. Then WHY?
Where do I go from here. Where is the road to my sanity. Where do I find my peace and solace.
My life has always been full of choices to make. This time yet again I stand at a fork where all I see is a dead end. My eyes straining hard to see the horizon being unaware of the ever growing darkness nowhere close to the dawn. Will the sun shine. Ever.
While I try to divert my mind it shoots another question. WHY NOT? Why can't I forget her. Why can't I just kill the love within. I have been lied to so many times. Heard many stories with so much conviction hard to not believe them. Seen things with my very own eyes still.... WHY NOT.
My heart wants to believe everything. Every word. Every action. My mind and my eyes pull me away!
"You fool" says my mind.
"Can't you see" says my eyes.
"You love her" says my heart.
This war within is ripping me apart.
How do I bring truce within me?
How do I breathe?
How do I live? .....
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